I remember that.....LOL!!! Peter Schere's... LOL!!! I remember that waiter.

I think so much of that is pure common sense, either you have it, or you don't though. You could write something, it would be interesting, but I think that some people that don't "get it" would just be like that waiter with the clicking heels.
You are 100% right though, you can compliment once about something of theirs - but don't go on about it. "Your home is lovely" would be enough when walking into their 10million dollar mansion - everyone likes to hear a compliment about where they live or what they have, but it needs to be said in such a relaxed way so that it's not obvious that you're standing there thinking "holy shit this guy is so rich i want to be his best friend".

You've got to be kiddin me.

$500.00 for a pound of meat! (I'm screamin this)


readin this blog sure is enlightenin


What in the world is a Kobe?

i love it. great information. what about when they have a million dollars in cars and haggle about your portrait prices.

Hum...interesting topic, and interesting book subject. I've always been fascinated by human behavior, non verbal and verbal. That's what drew me to study body language, and eventually NLP, influence, brainwashing, and manipulation techniques. I've observed hundreds of religious, political, and business leaders over many years to understand their mannerisms and talk. I used to watch "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" that ran from 1984 to 1995. Since 2006, "Europe's Richest People". Now, "Party Mamas" ($65,000 party thrown for a 15 year old daughter), "The Real Housewives of New York City", and probably lots of others. I also enjoy "The L Word" TV show, that contains some elements of class and artistic culture in some of the discussions. It shows how little I know, and how I couldn't possibly hold an "art" conversation be it for paintings, certain types of music, and plays.

The "reality" type TV can give a glimpse on what they talk about, and how it would be possible to entertain a conversation, however, I believe that small talk may be seen as a social obligation of short duration, unless, some kind of deeper rapport can be established to make it worthwhile to continue. A lot of rich people have very little time, and I think that they consider their time like some kind of investment where the ROI must be worthwhile, either for a business opportunity or truly for R&R.

A distinction must be made between "nouveau riche" people and "blue blood" rich people. I met a lot of first types and very few of the second type, mostly because I went to a boarding school that corralled and mixed them together in one spot for the 4 years I spent there. The "blue bloods" are actually the people who make you feel more at ease when you spend time with them. The new rich, not as much. Where the blue bloods are relaxed both in clothing and attitude, as well as supply little hint about their financial worth, the new rich want you to know how much they have, and will boast about it, with some arrogance, sometimes, or simply with naive ignorance on how other people may react to it.

The "nouveau riche" want to acquire some kind of nobleness, but they can't fool the blue bloods who can see right through them, without really telling them. So, in essence, the nouveau rich have some difficulty carrying a conversation with blue bloods almost as much as a penniless sap could have with rich people. The interests are simply not the same. Where the two can probably meet are through kid activities or somehow networking for some references on reliable services or help, schools, vacation spots, charities.

But, then, one must not generalize, again, because there are so many types of rich people emerging from so many avenues (music, fashion, .dotcoms, motivators, online dildo sales, vitamin selling, real estate, photography, software, book authors, movies, etc.) that one can expect that they will act, and be interested in so many different things, that it could be impossible to synchronize or develop rapport with all of them. Some have some class and manners, others none at all. The question would be, "Why would you want to, in the first place?"

However, if I were to write a book on "How to deal with rich people", I would take the time to interview the people who service them, because if you were to ask a rich person, they probably wouldn't care less, have no clue what to say, or have not time to discuss that. So, I would go for: Hairdressers, MUAs, famous and rich people photographers like Denis Reggie, and some others of your photographer friends who corner the high market. Enter any Rodeo Drive store and ask the salespeople, Jet and Helicopter salespeople, Bentley, Mercedes Benz, etc. salespeople, high-class restaurant and club owners, fashion designers, expensive furniture stores, decorators, party/event organizers, caterers - you get the point. You may not be surprised that their viewpoints are all over the map.

I would suspect that what makes those salespeople or service people successful is their ability to rapidly develop rapport with almost anyone. Even if you're not rich, if you're able to "sell" yourself and especially "be" yourself, authenticity vibes can be picked up by other people, rich or not.

Talking about vibes. I was having a conversation with an HR person at Bell Helicopter last week. We were in the large cafeteria where they occasionnally invite speakers. I was asking her how much they paid them ($2,500.00 to $10,000) for a 60 - 90 minute presentation. The most successful speakers (and the ones that charge the most) are the ones that have gone through some really hard life lessons or surmounted difficult odds (Such as General Roméo Dallaire who tried to stop the genocide in Rwanda in 1993-94; Chantal Petitclerc of Montreal, a quintuple gold medallist at the Paralympics Games, to name just two). When asked about those other speakers who speak about motivation, without any particular life challenge, she answered that style without substance does not sell as well with people.

Then, the thought entered my mind, what about if a motivational speaker were to admit that nothing bad really happened in his/her life, because they had led their lives to be that way, and would like to show people how to do the exact same thing, instead of creating or be victim of the worst case scenarios possible, and then finding ways of getting out of it. Would prevention sell more than the remedies?..:)

I don't know... the waiter would maybe not share their Black American Express card with the rest of the table?

Gary:

I read a book once called "Talking the Winner's Way" by Leil Lowndes.  It talks about the kind of things you want to write about.  The tag line for the book is "92 Little Tricks For Big Success In Business And Personal Relationships."

Essentially she says the same thing.  If you want to roll with the success, rich people of the world, you never say things like, "Hey... how's the Rolls Royce running?"  It does not sit well with them.  Similarly, you never ask someone what they do for a living either.  Rather, you might ask, "How do you spend most of your time?"  This gives the other person a way to get out of something... he can answer, "Oh, I'm a Doctor, so I spend a lot of time in the ER."  Or he could also easily say, "I spend most of my time on the golf course!"  It's not a direct question...

I think there is merit in reading books on how to fit in well in social situations.  Knowing how to say things right and when to say it, makes all the difference in the world!  That waiter you mentioned... whereas he may be trying to portray "class," his mere actions leaves him less than that.  :)

Russ

Oh... forgot to say... if I were to see a guy like that waiter, I'd be asking for a bunch of stuff, just to see him bow and to wear out his heels.  :)

I had Shabu Shabu once using Kobe beef while I was at a very fine restaurant in Kobe, Japan. It was good but the experience of where and who I was with made the food secondary in enjoyment. The wait staff blended into the ambiance and became part of the enjoyment of the meal in a non-pretentious way.

I would also rather dine with down-to-earth, compassionate, articulate, interesting, and intelligent people in a dive restaurant than with pretentious, snobby types in a 5 star restaurant.

Case in point , eating at Antonello Ristorante next to South Coast Plaza in So. Cal where practically every person at the table has their own waiter standing right behind them felt very uncomfortable. It seemed that everytime I moved slightly my water would be filled and the bread crumbs in front of me would be raked away. If I were to stand up, my napkin would be wisked off my lap and when I sat back down a new napkin would be placed in front of me. That was a bit too much and over the top. I really couldn't enjoy my meal.

@isawthelight2 - 

Kobe Beef comes from cattle which are hand raised in Japan.

They live a non-stressful life, are massaged several times a day and fed a diet which leads to low fat cuts of meat.

click:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_beef

Terry Thomas...
the photographer
Atlanta, Georgia USA
www.TerryThomasPhotos.com

Gary,

Your remark about west coast people dressing casually for weddings explains why you dressed in a black T-shirt when doing some equipment tests at a wedding for which I got on your case.

If you want to see the opposite of what you wrote about, watch "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" on the cable channel Bravo. These women prove true the old saying that "Money Doesn't Buy Class".

Terry Thomas...
the photographer
Atlanta, Georgia USA
www.TerryThomasPhotos.com

@TerryThomasPhotos - 

Thank ya

Perhaps these would be useful resources...

The Official Filthy Rich Handbook

The Millionaire Mind

The New Elite: Inside the Minds of the Truly Wealthy

The Millionaire Mind

Networking with the Affluent

Selling to the Affluent

The Art of Selling to the Affluent: How to Attract, Service, and Retain Wealthy Customers & Clients for Life

All the Money in the World: How the Forbes 400 Make--and Spend--Their Fortunes

Born Rich

The Top 10 Distinctions Between Millionaires and the Middle Class

How to meet the Rich: For Business, Friendship, or Romance

The Middle-Class Millionaire: The Rise of the New Rich and How They Are Changing America

A Privileged Life: Celebrating Wasp Style

Stuff White People Like

Superclass: The Global Power Elite and the World They Are Making

And finally,

Man's Search for Meaning

My standard wedding shoot outfit is a nice Eddie Bauer grey t-shirt, khakis and sneakers.

I used to wear suits to weddings... but it made no difference in my business, and was a lot less comfortable!

Anyone else?

WOW!
I guess you all make A WHOLE LOT more money than anybody I even know.

I'm just a 2-bit photographer ( person with a digital camera) I'm lucky if I get to eat at McDonalds, and Taco Bell.
I ever-now-and- then get a coffee at Speedway (mmmmm good stuff) but you know what I bet that $500.00 piece a meat don't fill ya up any better than a couple of good ol fried bologna sandwiches.

So if I git what yer sayin is: if I see a big ol rich daddy I'm supposed to act like it han't nothin and treat em like they just anybody else?

OK I guess I better stop staring and pointin at em.


And that poor waiter fella -- all he wanted was a good tip.

Don't be so high and mighty Gary Fong.

So a duck goes into a restaurant, the waiter comes up and asks for his order.

The duck replies, "I'll have the grapes."

The waiter responds, "Mr. Duck, I'm sorry, we haven't any grapes"

Ducks takes another moment to ponder over the menu, looks back up at the waiter and gives him his order. "I'll take the grapes".

The waiter seemingly agitated with Mr. Duck looks down at him and again replies..."Mr. Duck, we don't have any grapes, they aren't even on the menu. Please make another selection, one from the menu".

The duck then looks over the menu once more for a few moments humming "decisions, decisions", looks up with a sigh of relief he's found his choice and boastfully replies to the waiter, "You know, I'll take the grapes!".

The waiter looks at the duck right in the eyes and states, "Mr. Duck, we don't have any grapes! If you ask me again I'm going to nail your feet to that chair you're standing in!".

The duck says, "Okay, okay...I'm sorry." Takes the menu once again and looks it over carefully. Exasperated he looks to the waiter and asks, "Do you have any nails?".

"What? No! We don't have any nails! This is a restaurant."

"Okay then, I'll take the grapes."

@notbugged - 

from readin your list of books you read--- I just know I'd hate ya.

I CAN'T STAND fake people.

@isawthelight2 - 

,

If you were astute enough to google "Kobe beef", perhaps you would have realized I may not actually have read the books I listed, but rather performed a lookup on Amazon of books related to Gary's topic of interest.

@notbugged - 

Well there's our problem:

I HAN'T "astute".

@notbugged - 

ASTUTE
: having or showing shrewdness and perspicacity ; also : crafty , wily

What in the world is P-E-R-S-P-I-C-A-C-I-T-Y ?

see it does me no good to look stuff up.

@isawthelight2 - 

Could you please share with us your personal testimony, how you came to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? I'm curious.

@notbugged - 

Well, thanks for askin

One day I heard that if I was a sinner (which I still am) then I was goin to Hell, and I didn't want to spent eternity in Hell, so I ask Jesus to come into my heart and forgive me of my sins (I still sin though as you can tell)

@isawthelight2 - 

Thanks for sharing your testimony, brother. May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

maybe you should right a book about not coming across as a dick when you are a rich guy