| ||BUNNYBEAR, JR.|
Somebody asked me what is next for me. And I'm beginning to feel the vibe that the nest is fluffed, and that maybe we could become kind, wonderful and supportive parents. I feel like I have traveled the ends of the earth, and I've gotten to the point where I have my favorite hangouts in different parts of the world, and I can blend in, speak the languages and feel at home in faraway places. But that's the weird part - it has all been done before.
Traveling is wonderful but my last trip to France - I was done for a while (I'd spent an average of 1/9 days in the last three years in France), and I really missed my bunny. The seasons feel like they are turning into fall, and with the horse ranch nearing completion, we will be spending a LOT more time in Kelowna. My residency papers are in, and I'm just waiting for the process to end and then I can be full-time a canadian resident. And that sounds wonderful - with a horse ranch to play in, then a beach house 10 mins away, and a condo downtown and the ski chalets only 45 minutes away, it's really beautiful up there.
So the gentle nest of parenthood seems to be opening its doors in my imagination. It would be such a trip to see a person that is half of us, looking to us with that full, beautiful love that I've heard of. I've heard you sometimes only really discover love when you have a child. Some of my friends say it's a real ordeal, but I ask - ok what if we had live-in domestic help? And the consensus is - a lot better.
Denis said having Katie and Drew was the most amazing thing he had done in his life. Y'all know how I love to be a teacher, and how I get excited about things. Closing my mind and thinking of it, if I were a kid, yeah I think I would love to come into the Fong home and be raised by them.
The first night me and Mel met, (with Jess and Angela) we had a discussion about how people's lives always center around their core top three values. Like for my friend Sherry it would be 1) giving 2) sharing 3) helping. Mine would honestly be: 1) freedom 2) change 3) learning 4) teaching. I have had my share of freedom and have worn out all of my curious fantasies. So if you look at my life it is about constant change... changing career, hobbies, homes, surroundings. Then I am always learning - reading, etc. Last is teaching. I am always blabbing to someone about something new I figured out. Well my top three are aligned when you think about it - with parenthood.
I do worry about things. I feel like I may have less time to spend on my yacht, or our new home in Seattle for a while, but maybe I'll be so fascinated that it won't matter. And then the way the earth is changing, I feel the next generation is going to have to face some monumental challenges... but not challenges larger than mankind has ever yet seen and hopefully this little one will be raised with the poise, stature and confidence to face anything and tackle it.
My life couldn't be more filled with experience. I have no mountains to move, or goals to reach (well ok weight loss goals). But as I go through the "How To" section in the book store - I've pretty much done everything. I've practiced zen meditation, I've learned how to fly fish, even done Pilates. I will never stop yearning for learning but the world is changing internally for me, and this is a very interesting time.
I got on photoshop and blended me and Mel together to see what our kid would look like. Eurasian people are usually very very beautiful, and Mel obviously brings the beauty part of it to our relationship. All I did was kind of make mel not as pretty by putting my mix in, but if you squint you get a feeling of someone a father could love :)
| ||Posted 12/11/2006 6:26 AM - 1187 Views - 40 eProps - 23 comments|
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